Poem # 5

A Day I Miss

A broken B-string
A day a melody lost its zing
A dog finally quit chasing his tail
A sleepless rainy Sunday morning
A moment you wonder what I'm thinking
I want to know why the world
doesn't work like the books I read
why you are not where you are supposed to be
I lost my sense of direction
all I know now is waiting
O baby it's such a shame

A thunderstorm I hid my face under my pillow
A night the stars just wouldn't come out
A holiday I forgot to celebrate purposely
A full glass looked so empty
A time in history when I loved to be awake
Wanted to know why this was happening
No one could explain to me
Suddenly you took away the meanings

Even memories one day would fade
I think that's an encouragement
Those "I love yous" how do I erase?
O Sweetheart it's such a shame

Ella Evans© 2008

"There is no pain so great as the memory of joy in present grief."
---Aeschylus

http://www.myspace.com/helenpaperplain
I love this girl, this poem is kind of inspired by her song "11.30" and "The Trip."

Poem # 4

Clueless

The single recognizable emotion
was unconcealed raw desperation
it tore you apart without mercy
no it wasn't my imagination
I wasn't clueless
Understand now please
Causing you this much sorrow
was never my intention

I hated myself for I cried constantly
you rocked me back and forth in your arms
and sang for me everything that went wrong
only trying to calm me but perhaps
did you for-once attempt to love me
with every heart-breaking song?

You never needed me
the truth I so badly wanted to escape

If only I was offered a choice
If only I had control over my life
I would have known better
than expecting to be adored
I guess I have been clueless

Ella Evans© 2008

"The young Mother, wished to abort her child when she found out she was pregnant as a teenager. She was unable to get an abortion because so many people were against her decision, though she was not convinced that abortion should be considered murder, she still kept her child. And this poem is from the child's point of view, years later, telling his/her Mother that even though it seemed hopeless, he wanted to be loved."

Poem # 3

aMUSEd

So freely you would
tell me how you feel
meanwhile I am taught
what is honest
does not always mean is real
So easily you could
say the goodbyes
and bid me the farewells
I wish I didn't feel so lost

You give me no warnings
predictions only make me appear naive
The scent of your skin
the danger of your presence
draws me closer and lures me in
Why do I allow you to steal
everything that I have
over and over again

I try to put together your puzzle
childishly wishing to solve the mystery
indifferently you laugh
at my spontaneous theories

Is it your carelessness
that you always seem to be at ease
causes me to think
that I am being used
Sometimes I am dying to know
for me do you too discard you soul

With you I'm so unafraid to die
With you I have no sense of time

I find it kind of hard to tell you
I find it kind of hard to take
that when You look at the world
All I'm looking at is you

Ella Evans© 2008

"Good girls always fall for bad boys?"

Poem #2

Adieu

what's discouraging me
is not leaving
nor losing
both are deadly
though I know
I will succeed in changing
What I'm so hopelessly dreading
is much simpler and sadder
though I don't think I can endure
the pain of forgetting

Ella Evans© 2008

"We bury love, Forgetfulness grows over it like grass; That is a thing to weep for, not the dead."
---Alexander Smith

Poem #1

A Conspiracy

Why do I confess
When no one seems to be listening
no I'm not a coward
tell myself not to believe
at the last minute I'm still living
dying but still breathing
the same air you see
questions are here to stay
I will find my way
can't you see I'm not unafraid
only when the world takes interest
must you begin to ponder
what happens when they decide
it's time you done playing this game
Do you too often regret
that your true feelings are eternally buried
fears are cast aside
for now as I speak
all I ask for is please look at me
Why do you refuse to realize
Is my face so hard to read
I'm blazing through your skies
so far from invisible yet you deny
am I still pretending in your eyes
not just a misunderstanding
this time
who is misleading
who is right

Ella Evans © 2008

"Often times, when two opposing sides each try to prove a point which contradict each other, they would forget essentially, they have the same goal: To discover and learn about the truth."