Poem # 7

Hysteria

you sense it in the air right before it rains
overpowering caution threatens you to seek shelter
never acknowledge anything you want yet unable to attain
but you still find it crawling underneath your aching skin
when darkness and silence hold you down
It's a long way down before you fall and shatter...
you anticipate gravity to keep you on the ground?
It pretends to be only a wise man's treasure
let it breathe let it sing and it will gradually consume
your wills shaken your thoughts scattered
It speaks to you when you try to rest and dream
It laughs and watches as you dig your own grave
you flinch at its name as you lay next to the empty tomb
I won't let it be my time to surrender
I won't let you be the death of me you exclaim
I don't love you and I never did
I don't want you and I never will

Ella Evans© 2008

“If you don't get what you want, you suffer; if you get what you don't want, you suffer; even when you get exactly what you want, you still suffer because you can't hold on to it forever. Your mind is your predicament. It wants to be free of change. Free of pain, free of the obligations of life and death. But change is a law, and no amount of pretending will alter that reality.”

---Dan Millman

Poem # 6

Yes Please

I see the right answers
what you want to hear
is on the tip of my tongue
Staying true to my ideals I fear
will only make me appear less sincere
not only in your eyes I fear

Please let me know if you will ever
release me from this cruel spell you put me under
I don't want to know how long ago
You made me hate the word "Forever"

I have too much to lose
with my spirit so badly cut and bruised
How long before you let me go
Baby I'm tired of your pitiful excuses

You make it hard for me to choose
the you I idolize to be just like me
or the you I try to forget constantly
I fear this is the long deserted truth

Ella Evans© 2008

---

"It's like you think you're safe or something, 'cause you can just walk away, anytime, because you don't like, need her. You don't need anyone. But the thing you didn't realize is, you're wrong."

-----"My So-Called Life"

My Dearest Crob

To Crob:

Did you know that you have no self-control
You are the weirdest crob I've even known
I laugh myself to sleep sometimes
thinking about the silly jokes you've told

Did you know that I think you are insane
You scare the hell out of me
when you call me "honey bunches"
Or even better "Little Scarf"
Ugh I deserve better than that love

Did you ever get the feeling
that the second you meet a person
You just know so abruptly from the bottom of your heart
that you will be her friend
it seems as natural as any nature's law
You are certain at that very moment
that your souls will never be apart

For one who occasionally walks in shadows
For one who is hopelessly afraid of the dark
You offer me more than a friend could ask for
For everything you are
I wish to let you know
I'm so sick of you!

Ella Evans© 2008

"A poem I wrote for one of my best friends Little Pale Face, check out her blog http://chatterboxchatterbox.blogspot.com/."