Poem # 4

Clueless

The single recognizable emotion
was unconcealed raw desperation
it tore you apart without mercy
no it wasn't my imagination
I wasn't clueless
Understand now please
Causing you this much sorrow
was never my intention

I hated myself for I cried constantly
you rocked me back and forth in your arms
and sang for me everything that went wrong
only trying to calm me but perhaps
did you for-once attempt to love me
with every heart-breaking song?

You never needed me
the truth I so badly wanted to escape

If only I was offered a choice
If only I had control over my life
I would have known better
than expecting to be adored
I guess I have been clueless

Ella Evans© 2008

"The young Mother, wished to abort her child when she found out she was pregnant as a teenager. She was unable to get an abortion because so many people were against her decision, though she was not convinced that abortion should be considered murder, she still kept her child. And this poem is from the child's point of view, years later, telling his/her Mother that even though it seemed hopeless, he wanted to be loved."