Poem # 14

Homecoming 541

So long I'm cruising about
homesick in foreign fields
during a dreadful isolation
I drag behind an invisible sheid
See I know the destination
life, keeps to be delayed

the time I spent away
exploring my own journey
I find my ghosts dreaming
in the most peculiar ways
a faint spark of tear, blur
a moment of hope, stir


When I slide in hiding
I believe I'm only older
burn my diary in the spotlight
watch as my angry skies ignite
I pray when I return all words cease
I pray, one day, I may rest in peace

Ella Evans© 2008

Poem # 13

New Apocalypse

Mirrors with no glass the mismatched gloves
I place the broken brakes in speeding cars
I search through the debris for the golden key
as if it was decided with this complacency
Under moon's shadow soloist performs alone
I pray before I go play me another song
Never to let go of such an exquisite tune
Reasons to admit that the end is too soon
old rhymes begin to blur as the news stirs
I wonder what you are back here to cure
Secret disclosure I am inclined to implore
Leisurely you point out the love you bear
you have no idea how long I've waited
Oh dear, long before the world was made

Ella Evans© 2008

“This is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning.”

Winston Churchill

“I don't want to live. I want to love first, and live incidentally.”

Zelda Fitzgerald

“Are you upset little friend? Have you been lying awake worrying? Well, don't worry...I'm here. The flood waters will recede, the famine will end, the sun will shine tomorrow, and I will always be here to take care of you. -Charlie Brown to Snoopy”

Charles M. Schulz

Poem # 12

What A Wonderful World

The hole burns right through my chest
the crossroad of dark and light to where
the world we know only moves forward
if it is full of the corrupt and the sinister
The hope in us why anyone should ignore
the texture of the rain and the open road
the greatness in love and an open heart
you're never alone, What a sight to behold
Two roads decide the reasons for humanity
One leads you to disturbance and reform
the other more than ignorant contentment
So many choose madness some declare
You choose to be offended only if you dare
The recklessness of whom I do not condone
do you need them as your motivation
nothing more than foolish self-justification
do you need them as excuses to embrace
your desires to reach all of the lost souls

Ella Evans© 2008

“Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.”

Dale Carnegie

“Remember that all through history the way of truth and love has always won. There have been tyrants and murderers and for a time they seem invincible but in the end, they always fall -- think of it, ALWAYS.”

Mahatma Gandhi

“Evil is just a point of view”

Anne Rice

“In all things it is better to hope than to despair”

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

"We should live in this evil world with wisdom, righteousness and devotion to God."
TITUS 2:12

warning: if you are in anyways offended by this poem, please keep in mind, that people do have different opinions and freedom of speech. Thanks for reading, comments and debates are welcome.

Poem #11

"The Secret Garden"

Accidentally stolen
demise of wisdom
Unconsciously fallen
asleep in your Eden
fire cloak that face
my desires forbidden
fog hide from death's veil
of taste so colorful

Ella Evans© 2008

"Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind."
Albert Einstein

"Scientists were rated as great heretics by the church, but they were truly religious men because of their faith in the orderliness of the universe."
Albert Einstein

"Where, you tend a rose, my lad, a thistle cannot grow."
The Secret Garden

poem # 11

The Emperor

Would you readily exchange souls for gold
Would you urge hot-blooded pilots to die for dear oil
and perhaps to prevent the unthinkable defeat
that your supporters, masterminds never dare to mention
You look on and nod in approval and confidence
You see the fire in their eyes, gives you more assurance
don't start to forget the ghastly looks on their beautiful faces
as they prepare for what's painfully unjust for lives so innocent
Waving, grinning in spite of waves of cold sweat,as they go on
their very last death march, with utterly intolerable sad grace
to what they hope never fading honor and glory
but what would they think of the eternal silence
waiting for them when it's all over, even what they fought and died for
It is unendurable to watch...their arduous walk down the runway
while some who love and hurt deeply weep and murmur "please"
some in grief, they pray secretly, broken-hearted for a miracle,
others in unspeakable joy and pride, they ask not for protection
but what they believe is more paramount, it's the recognition
All the young boys afraid of not only endings, loses and departs
more than anything it's being forgotten, by anyone
The too predictable history one day won't know their names
Never-mind their fears, their emotions, their bodies and minds
You suffocate when thoughts crop up and try to bring you shame
only when your beloved followers are not burying you with praises
You resurface and attempt to find some relief
So you too begin to admire your own power and brilliance
How easily and flawlessly you convince so many to die for you
in the name of "our" country, and "our" beliefs, and "our" enemies
Leave them no doubts in your faith and ability
You are our only savior, only wisdom, only truth of the war
... ...
but not peace, no not beauty, grace, or love, no not life.
Our souls are unbreakable

Ella Evans© 2008

Toward the end of World War II, when an American invasion of Japan’s homeland seemed imminent, Ōnishi Takijirō, a navy vice admiral, invented the tokkōtai (“Special Attack Force”) operation, which included airplanes, gliders, and submarine torpedoes... Any soldier who refused would become persona non grata or be sent to the southern battlefield, where death was guaranteed. Some soldiers actually managed to say no, but their refusal was disregarded. The tokkōtai pilots were supposed to die. From the time they received their assignment, they no longer belonged to this world. They could not return if they were unable to locate the enemy... As Hayashi Ichizō put it: “There must be some peace of mind for dedicating my life to the emperor... To be honest, I cannot say that the wish to die for the emperor is genuine, coming from my heart. However, it is decided for me that I die for the emperor.”... The diaries of these young men offer eloquent testimony that contradicts both the stereotype held outside of Japan and the propaganda circulated by the Japanese military: that tokkōtai pilots died happily for the emperor.

---An excerpt from Kamikaze Diaries, Reflections of Japanese Student Soldiers---Emiko Ohnuki-Tierney

Poem # 10

The Boy With the Umbrella

Call me silly or crazy I don't mind a bit
Don't feel bad if I tell you that I don't mind
the fact you left me more wounded
than ever before the first raindrop fell onto the Earth

I just want you to save me again
like you did that once
No promises or obligations like that last time
No blinding lightnings or even blue hurricanes

Emotional weather report forecasts rain
I missed you and the umbrella was left at home
I take a look at the mind numbing gusty winds
and the black still clouds unusually low

The dense humid air makes it hard to breathe
How pathetic I break down
every time precipitation is expected
It's about to thunder let's all quiet down
Again my tears are stuck in my throat
Childishly I want a shoulder to cry on

Watch out for the low lonely clouds
With a chance of thunderstorm and flood

Ella Evans© 2008

'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

--- Alfred Lord Tennyson

The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost.

--- G. K. Chesterton

Poem # 9

Megalomania

If you were to jump from where you stood
because they asked you to
on top of the tallest skyscraper in downtown
where your good restless heart lay overdue
Closest to the gods where we belonged
or so were you convinced
Don't make the leap
Have you lost your mind
You feel like I don't know you anymore
Screaming loud reaching out
to be heard by the impassive crowd
Every crisis was an opportunity
a contagious signal
urged us to prove ourselves
to everyone victimized by fictions, statistics,
and the supposed new world?
Assume you couldn't see the lines drawn
Pretend you did not need to fight a war alone
Suppose you haven't noticed the distance grown
You dream of an escape from reality
drifting away from history, once learned lessons
Your greatness shown in your vanity
through the rise and fall of humanity
glorified leaders you admired not long ago
Have you forgotten they no longer held control?
Why did you let them come back to haunt you?
Don't make the leap
Have you lost your mind
Ignore their cheers
They only want to see you bleed
...
...
Love,
go on and fight their battle,
One day we might finally agree on where to go...

Ella Evans© 2008

Jungvolk Oath (taken by ten-year-old boys on first entering the Hitler Youth)

"In the presence of this blood banner which represents our Führer, I swear to devote all my energies and my strength to the saviour of our country, Adolf Hitler. I am willing and ready to give up my life for him, so help me God."

Poem # 8

Before, after

The unknown unraveled too much of me
I didn't for one moment wish to share
witness the one above
as he readily makes believe of fate
crushing every dream we've ever had
injustice was created
You weren't an exception
it didn't matter what I did
In sorrow I envy your infinite solitude ahead of you
Will I be left with nothing once you leave this earth
Please leave with my broken soul
apathy will be all that I'm worth
My belief for once let me down
There's no one to confide in when you are gone
I can't blame you for taking part of me away
but your tears make me refuse to be saved
Please don't stand in my way when the end comes
all my crimes will be paid
the punishments will gratify
Tired of asking my reasons to be justified
Nothing changes the fact I lived and let die
body crumbling no love to set me free
Whisper to me don't be afraid
while I wait for the end I will be protected
from everything that reminds me of you
Will I see your face
Before I squander what's left away?

Ella Evans© 2008

"I know the moment's near,and there's nothing we can do.
Look through a faithless eye,are you afraid to die?
It scares the hell out of me, and the end is all I can see.
And it scares the hell out of me ,and the end is all I can see."

----Matt Bellamy(Muse)
"Thoughts Of A Dying Atheist"